By Barbara Bray, author of Define Your Why
For most of my life, I have been a teacher, a coach, and a mentor supporting educators. Something is different now. There is a sense of urgency for us to rethink the idea of “school” and what it means to be a teacher, a principal, and a learner. Many educators have told me they felt lost. Even before the pandemic, several told me that they felt like they went down the wrong path and were living someone else’s story.
“The two most important days in life are the day you are born,
and the day you discover the reason why.” Mark Twain
We have many different experiences throughout our lives that make us who we are today. You may not even realize the forces that affected you in your past and may still affect you today. My journey took me down different paths that made me who I am today. I wrote my book, Define Your WHY, about the process I went through to define my purpose and learned the importance of all of our stories. All of us have a backstory and stories connect us.
Your story is about YOU. Everyone has a story. You are YOU. You are unique. There is no one like you in the whole world. You know you better than anyone else. Even though you know you, you may not know some important things about you.
“The whole story is about you. You are the main character.”
Don Miguel Ruiz
Think of yourself as the main character in a book you may write one day. Even if you don’t want to write a book, you can learn from literary characters to help you define you. Any book you read has magic in it. Reading brings you into someone else’s world. Some books take you to places you never thought you could go. Your imagination takes you on the main character’s journey. There are ways you can connect to a character through their qualities or characteristics.
Look at the four qualities I came up with for the two main characters below:
- Alice from Alice in Wonderland: curious, adventurous, brave, and kind.
- Harold from Harold and the Purple Crayon: creative, imaginative, excited, and curious.
You may have come up with different qualities than I did for these main characters. That’s okay. When you read a book, it is personal for you. How you feel as you read any book is personal. Think about a book you read where you really connected with the main character. What are the qualities of the main character that stood out for you?
During the pandemic, I’m reading more. I’m reading biographies, non-fiction, educational books, children’s books, memories, and fiction.
Journalling is my way of keeping track of my challenges, my progress, and my characteristics. Family, friends, and colleagues have told me that I am Curious, Creative, Kind, and Silly. My parents used to tell me I was a curious soul and very silly. I love to write and design. I try to be kind. I wasn’t sure if these four are really me so I asked myself questions about them. These six questions stood out for me:
- What do I do now to be curious?
- Does my curiosity help me become more creative?
- How do I keep myself focused on being creative and my writing?
- Am I silly more than I am serious?
- How can we encourage kindness in schools?
- What can I do to spread kindness?
Think about four characteristics about you. Write those down. Ask yourself questions about your characteristics like I did to take them deeper. I mentioned before that some people felt that they were renting someone else’s story. Let’s make sure you share yours as the chief storyteller of YOU.
“You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” — Brené Brown
I went for years being afraid to share my story or tell what I believed. I always wanted to write but never thought I had a story to tell or that my story was worthy. At first, I wasn’t sure of my purpose. It took me some time to figure out that my purpose has always been about the stories. You may not want to write but I know you have a story. No matter who you are or what you do, when you get to know more about you, you will find that you are worth caring about and fighting for.
If you don’t want to write, read a book or watch a movie. Then talk about what you found out about the characters or the theme with others. If you are a teacher, encourage your students to share stories through their own story, their family’s story, or about a book they read.
We need our connections and stories now more than ever with people who care about us because we matter. You matter. Your story matters. The power of stories especially during these uncertain times connects us.
Website/Blog: Rethinking Learning
Podcast: Rethinking Learning Podcast
Co-author: Make Learning Personal and How to Personalize Learning
Author Define Your Why
Twitter: @bbray27
